My life after I have been cheated on and still manage to stay

It has been 6 months and 1 day after I read the text message that change me and my children’s lives, but hey! I manage to stay despite all the troubles that comes my way.

It has been 6 months and 1 day, but I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you did to me over and over again, but I really don’t know why I manage to accept you. Maybe it was because of what our youngest son wanted or maybe because I still love you or maybe because I just can’t live without you but I don’t love you anymore? or I am just staying because I lived almost half of my life with you? whatever the reason is I am still suffering on the things you did to me.

You never thought that having an affair with a woman who can’t accept defeat will cause so much pain in my life and you can’t even stop her for threatening me and my kids after you broke up with her. Telling that I was the one who did those Facebook accounts with my photo saying I stole you from her? Oh come on! Why will I do that if I know that will ruin my reputation as a blogger?

I don’t know if I can ever really trust you or the words you tell me or even your I love you’s or your I miss you’s. It was really hard for me to trust you going to work until now and I don’t know if I can move on with my trust issues with you.

Lastly, I don’t know if your ex-mistress knows how it feels to be cheated on or knows the feelings of a woman who needs to feel for her kids first before feeling for herself. I remember she told your boss that no woman wanted to be a mistress and here’s what’s has been in my mind for the past 6 months. If you really does not want to be a mistress, why did you push through with that relationship? Why you still wanted to be a secret, when you have the chance to asked him that, if he really loves you don’t make me a mistress.

I really don’t know why I stayed, but I am happy that I stayed because I can see that my children are happy with the decision I made 6 months ago and I really wanted my children to be happy. When I see them happy, I know I made the right decision even if I am in so much pain until now.

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