I think February will leave a great scar on my heart and also to my kid’s heart because of what we have gone through. I think it was really a very difficult time for my kids specially Kwek as he fights for what’s right for him as a son. I was hurting not because of what had happened to my life, but to my children’s life. I must say that my son has fought a really good fight to win back what was his and that is his father.
I learned a lot of things, though I am still struggling to trust and learn to love again, but I am happy to see that my children are taking baby steps to accept the things we cannot control. An affair does not end hurting the wife, but it gets deeper because a child’s life is at stake. I always told my children that they can find many lovers as they want, but their parents is irreplaceable, so fight for what is yours and I almost forgot that line and my children just reminds me that we should all fight for what is right, just and what’s ours.
Emotions fills me and my children as days goes by, but I know in time we will all heal. I know shaming someone is not the answer, but how can you control it when you see your children breaking apart from those pain that they should have not experience if they also know what’s right and she push him away because of his children. I always believe in good people that they will think of what is right than what their heart’s desire is, but that wasn’t the scenario and I manage to let them go and suddenly my children asked me why do I need to give up, am I also giving up on them?
As I mature and get old I am taught myself to much more giving to the people who matters to me and even forget to give a piece for myself, but I never regret that. I am not ready to forgive yet, but it takes time and effort to see if that’s genuine and I think I shouldn’t let my emotions eat me, I should be the BETTER and BIGGER person from now on. I know who the real me and what I can give to the person who matters to me, I should have those hateful messages eat me up alive and forget that I am not what they are saying.
So, this is to moving forward and not letting anybody gets their way to hurt my kids!